I’ve been on supermom mode over the last few months. School has started for us here in the Philippines, and for the first time my son is spending the whole day in class. Because of this I’ve been on 5am kitchen duty preparing breakfast and packing snacks and lunch. I’ve been spending most of my days at home, working. I try to take on as many projects as I can these days because at present, mine is the primary source of income for our family. Afternoons are spent studying and doing homework with the kid after school. In between everything else, there are errands to run, meetings and events to attend, and countless other things to do. Thankfully, my husband has taken over driving duties. He also helps with the homework. He brings me ice cream when he knows I’m extra stressed out. I am glad that I’m not alone in this, but it has honestly begun to take its toll.
I know that a lot of moms are guilty of concentrating too much on taking care of their kids, their husbands and their households that they forget to take care of themselves. I just never thought that I would one day become that sort of mommy. Truth be told I’ve gained so much weight from stress-eating. I’ve completely given up on the exercise routine I promised myself that I would stick to. I’ve been sleeping late and I waking up before dawn. I know that I’ve been extra tired because some nights I just pass out after dinner and wake up when my alarm goes off the following morning. The funny thing is, even though my body has been telling me to slow down, I’ve been choosing to listen to that little nagging voice in my head telling me that other moms have so much more to do than I do, and that I should just keep on keeping on.
And so I did.
And then I got sick.
It wasn’t anything major, just a bad case of the flu coupled with a really bad throat infection and swollen lymph nodes. I was down for four whole days, finally feeling well enough to go to church on the fifth day, last Sunday, because I was nearing the completion of my prescribed medication. I loaded myself with antibiotics, analgesics, lozenges and paracetamol, plus vitamins for seven whole days. I could barely taste anything, my head hurt and so did my body. I was forced to take a time out and let my husband take over.
On his first day of morning kitchen duty, I stubbornly sat at the counter giving him instructions. When I eventually felt dizzy, I went back to bed and fell asleep. I woke up an hour and a half later and everything was in order, breakfast was done, my son was dressed and about to leave for school with his packed lunch and snacks. I learned my lesson that morning. It was time to quit being a control freak and try to just enjoy the fact that I wasn’t allowed to function.
I watched TV, I slept a lot, I started a new book, and I played video games. Sure, I did a little bit of work here and there and still meddled with my husband’s chores every once in a while. I don’t think I am capable of completely letting go. But I really did allow myself to rest and enjoy some much-needed down time.
As expected, my first week back on regular programming was tough. I am still playing catch up on some things that had to be set aside while I was sick. That’s just something I have to take on now, and it’s nothing major compared to what might have happened if I continued to push myself and not get the proper rest and treatment that I needed. It serves as an important lesson too, that it’s time for me to really pay attention to my body and to take better care of myself. Time to eat right, make sure I take my vitamins, rest well and exercise. It’s time to let go of extra stress and not be so hard on myself about getting things done quickly and perfectly all the time. It’s time to just chill, as I would say when I was young and carefree.
I want to savor moments and enjoy life, not breeze through or trudge through it with a boulder-sized burden on my shoulders. It took my getting sick for me to realize this, and I now promise myself that I will consciously slow down, for me.
Have you been taking care of yourself? When was the last time you took a time out?
This is an original post for World Moms Blog by Mrs. P Cuyugan of the Philippines.
The photograph used in this post is credited to the author.
Patricia Cuyugan (Philippines)
Patricia Cuyugan is a freelance writer and the resident mom blogger at www.mrspcuyugan.com. She is a WAHM, domestic diva in training, real housewife of Ayala Alabang, and mommy to an 8-year-old boy who is known online as Little MrC. When stressed, she turns to crochet, chocolates and hugs for comfort.
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I think all moms can relate to this – I certainly do, despite the fact that due to my Fibromyalgia there are a lot of chores that I’ve pretty much given up doing altogether (I’m SUPER grateful to my hubby & kids for picking up the slack!)!
When you live with chronic pain and fatigue, it’s even easier to miss the signs of something else being wrong!
The whole of last week I had to rest and I wasn’t allowed to talk at all due to the severity of the inflammation of my vocal chords & flu! Coming back to the office on Monday was horrible because I HATE being behind in my work, but I have to admit that the forced break was good for me! 🙂
I read somewhere that the best thing a mother can do for her children is to take care of their mother! Instead of feeling guilty for taking a (much needed!) break and looking after ourselves, we should realize that taking care of ourselves really IS the best thing we can do for our family!!
Thank you for this great reminder. 🙂
I hope you’re all better now, Simona! And I totally agree with you, we have to take care of ourselves to make sure that we can be 100% there for our families. 🙂 Hugs!
It’s so hard to be home sick and give up control of your household routine! At the same time, like you said, you have to take care of you.
I am stay at home mom, and I try to carve out times to get exercise. I prefer to get out for a run or hike by myself, but with 2 littles ones, that doesn’t always work, so I often run on my treadmill in the garage with the doors open so they can ride bikes in the driveway while I watch them. Still multi-tasking!
I also try to stop doing chores once I get my kids to bed. If I can shift to relaxing via a shower and a good book, I’ll get to bed earlier and rest more soundly.
I wish you luck in finding the right combination for you!
Thanks, Tara! 🙂 I am also trying to give myself a computer curfew so that I am forced to switch my brain off and relax before bed. I think that would really be good for me. I also am in dire need of exercise time. Haha. 🙂
I’m so glad that you are feeling better, Mrs. C.!
I hope there are more time outs for you in your future when you are well and you can relax!
Jen 🙂
Thanks, Jen! MrC and I are planning to spend a relaxing weekend out of town soon with the little boy. I won an overnight stay at a really nice hotel, and we can’t wait to go. 🙂
I find with myself that the biggest problem is that I need an “excuse” to let me feel justified stopping to do something I don’t want to do or cutting back on the tons of stuff I have on my plate. Sadly, getting sick seems like the only legitimate “excuse”. Am working very hard on shifting that mindset to just admitting what are the things I don’t want to do and making sure I have me time and that my own needs are being met first. Motherhood is a juggling act.
You and I have the same problem, Suzie. Guess we both need to learn how to let go once in a while. It is for our good, and the good of our families after all. Good luck to us! 🙂
Oh how I can relate. I had a forced time out too : I was too busy taking care of my family/work/house/whatever… and the neglected cold turned into a full blown angina and abcess in jaw cavity nightmare. Result : two weeks on bedrest on medication which can knock out a rhino.
Afterwards my doctor told me sternly to take five every once in while. So now, when I get home and there is nobody around instead of doing the dishes or laundry I set an alarm and nap for 30 min.
It really makes a difference.
I actually had one two weeks back and just blogged about it today. As mums, we are always guilty of neglecting ourselves by putting the family before us. I do hope you get your well deserved break!